Great Scot! I cannot believe it's been almost a year since I've blogged. If I ever had any loyal followers, which I doubt, they are most certainly gone now. However, I've been dramatically preoccupied with work, my 82-year old momma's health, and my own health so writing my thoughts down has not been top priority. In fact it isn't top priority now so I'll sign off and try again much sooner, I hope.

It finally feels like summer ... not to mention TGIF!!!

Oh my goodness it's such a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the skies are bright blue with no trace of clouds (most unusual for the Pacific Northwest), and it feels like all is well with the world. Sonshine, and sunshine, have an amazing ability to lift our spirits, n’est-ce pas?

I'm feeling sort of blah today on account of my back is aching. I'm looking forward to a day when that is not the case, but for now, I will hang in there. It's supposed to be a totally gorgeous, sunny weekend and I would love to drive to the beach. However, with gasoline at $4.30/gallon for regular ... I cannot afford the luxury of a drive to the beach. Sigh.

Well, this will have to be a very short post on account of my brain being somewhat sludgy. Rats!

Who'duhthunkit?

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles ... I got a comment on my blog. It's pretty fun. I mentioned to one of my dear friends that I had a blog and she commented that what reading a blog is like is reading someone else's diary but with their permission. I know that I really enjoy reading my friend Kathleen's blog because she lives 3 hours away and getting to read the details she chooses to share about her life makes it seem like she's not so far away, and it blunts the disappointment of not getting to spend more time with her.

Today is a spectacularly beautiful day with totally blue skies, and bright sunshine, but temperatures in the mid-70s. It isn't my totally favorite kind of weather which is these same conditions but with temperatures in the mid-60s. My body has always seemed to have it's thermostat set higher than other peoples so it seems like I'm always too warm where others are loving the warmer temperatures. Go figure. [With a comment like "go figure" you'd think I was was born and raised in Jersey, eh? Of course, adding "eh" to the end makes it seem like I'm Canadian.]

On another topic ... I have felt physically better for the last 5 or 6 days than I have in a very long time. When people ask how I am I practically giggle when I tell them that I am fine and feeling good. And, of course, the astonished look on people's faces is really fun too, which prompts me to want to giggle some more. It's really encouraging to have some time of feeling "well" rather than just tolerating how I feel. Praise God for His many blessings.

Praising God makes me feel remiss in not sharing a thought that I had when I was first diagnosed with diabetes. My thought was that becoming diabetic was sort of a "tender mercy" from God in that it would force me to take better care of myself. I have forgotten that for a while but I believe it is true. [As an aside, the reason I put "tender mercy" in quotation marks is that it reminded me of the book "A Severe Mercy" by Sheldon Vanauken who was a professor at Lynchburg College in Lynchburg, Virginia. He was a friend and protégé of C.S. Lewis. His book tells a re-life love story, full of wonder and hope. It also demonstrates how something really hard, really sad, and really painful can end up being God's blessing and tender mercy toward us.]

God is so very good to me and blesses me so much beyond what I deserve, that rather than ask God "why did you let me become diabetic?" the reality is, "why not me?" Grace is my getting what I don't deserve, and mercy is me not getting what I do deserve. If God were really "fair" with me, I would have died and gone to hell long, long ago for all of my sins. [As another aside, I readily acknowledge that my trying to judge God's choices to determine what is "fair" between God and me is a really absurd thing to say or think. God is the author, finisher, and definer of fair. Who am I with my puny thoughts and pathetic self-interest to determine what is "fair" with God? God decides what is fair, "not I," said the duck.]

God says that the penalty for sin is death, which is to say eternal separation from God, and I was a sinner, I am a sinner, and I will be a sinner, but I am a sinner who is saved by the utterly indescribable, and amazing grace of a God who is especially fond of me, a God who loves me, and a God who loves me enough to let His one and only beloved Son, in whom He was "well pleased" suffer and die an utterly humiliating, painful death on a Roman cross, not for any sin of His own, but for my sin. So the reality is that I need to know and recall all the time that if I had gotten what I deserved I would have been condemned. "But now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2 Now that is another thing to praise God for.

Well ... I suspect that is enough of a sermon for today. Now, if you will all turn to page 280 in your blue hymnals, we'll all sing Amazing Grace together, and I look forward to hearing all of your beautiful harmonies! You altos, sing out ladies, sing out!

Here I Come Again!

Good afternoon all,

I cannot believe how long it's been since I blogged (5 months! Holy cow!). To quote my beloved friend Kathleeny ... I just haven't felt blogish lately. However, since I'm feeling more encouraged and more hopeful than I have felt in quite a long time, perhaps I'll blog more.

I am looking forward to summer more than I have for quite a while. I think it's partly due to the plans that I have for improving my health this summer. I am going to change how I think about food and exercise, and then I am going to change how I behave with God's good grace and assistance. I cannot make any changes unless God wills them to be made. But since He has said in His Word that my body is a temple, I think that perhaps it is time for me to take better care of it.

I think another reason that I'm encouraged is that I believe that these changes I am making will significantly improve my diabetes and hopefully will reduce the amount of insulin and/or oral medication that I'm taking. I am also hopeful that I will be able to reduce my blood pressure medication as well. I spend over $200/month on my share of my prescription medications (praise God for medical insurance!) and I would love to see that amount reduced.

Well, I believe that is all I have to say for now, so I will sign off. I would love to hear comments so I believe I shall let my friends and loved know that I am blogging. Who'duhthunk that a baby boomer such as myself would end up being a blogger?

TGIF!

Oy ... how is it possible that a week can feel like it's dragging while it's going on, but once I get to Friday it seems as if it has raced past. One of the infinite qualities and/or quirks of time. But, since it is Friday, it surely is way too late in the day to wade into the quagmire of philosophy of time. Wouldn't you agree?

I have not been as faithful to my blog as I had hoped to be ... but it doesn't seem as interesting without anyone commenting upon it. I wonder if it is because I've told so few people that I'm doing it?

I spent all the evening on Tuesday in the Emergency Room with my beloved mother. We didn't get home until the wee hours of Wednesday, and I've felt exhausted ever since. Not that I don't owe her. She has spent much more time in the ER with me as the patient than I have with her.

Alas ... another short post ... way too tired to think of anything else to say. Sigh.

How can it be 2008 already?

When I was in my 20's my father's mother (Grammie) told me that the older you got, the faster time went. At the time I thought that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard! Now, however, over 30 years later, I confess my youthful error. She was absolutely correct. A very minor example of that would be that some part of me still thinks it's the end of 1999 and we're waiting on tenterhooks (metal hooks on a wooden frame to dry new woolen fabric that has been washed so that it won't shrink) to see what Y2K would bring.

Another part of my foolish hobgobblin little mind is still wondering when my prince (prints?) will come. After all, any little girl who grew up in the 50's and 60's knows perfectly well that what we're "supposed to do" when we grow up is get married and have children. Maybe he's stuck in traffic? Maybe he doesn't recognize me because I dyed my hair? Maybe he's old and blind as a bat! Either way he ain't here, yet (hope springs eternal even for the old bats). Or, if you leaned into femininism in the 70's ... at least grow up and have a brilliant career. Having done neither of those things, it is hard not to feel like a failure in my life. Clearly, I've missed the whole point. Or have I?

I haven't mentioned my diabetes because I've begun 2008 on an interesting note ... I'm taking my meds and otherwise sort of ignoring it and not obsessing about it. I have way too many OCD tendencies to add obsessing about my diabetes to the list of little eccentricities I enjoy.

As an aside (I do this often ... I also digress) I was speaking to a very long-time friend recently and we were speaking of my eccentricities. I told her that I had become comfortable with my eccentricities. She said "Hogwash! You cultivate them." We laughed our heads off ... because there is a grain of truth to that. If I cannot be married, or a mother, or have a brilliant career, at least I can be known for a terrific sense of humor and an eccentric mind.

So long, farewell, aufwiedersehn, adieu, adeiu adieu, au ’voire, goodbye ... good night, good night! Parting is such, sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow. (From Rodgers and Hammerstein to the Bard ... how's that for eccentric or at least ecclectic?)

Monday, Monday ... can't trust that day!

I made it to work (Praise God!), but I feel really blah today. I have had lots to do, including preparing pleadings for a trial in Circuit Court ... but I still feel blah. I believe I will stop now, and edit this post later so I can be a little more circumspect and loquacious.